Think Positive

I cannot begin
The articulation of a heartbeat
Is not compiled upon a page
The ache of a soul is not measured
In twenty-four letters arranged at the whim of an author

I cannot end
My body will decay and rot
And leave its stain upon the earth.
My mind will cease to spark and flicker
But my thoughts will echo on the wind.

I cannot exist
I am weighed down by an ocean
Crashing upon my brittle bones, encrusted in salt
I have struggled to reach dry land again
But I can no longer tell the difference between salt and sand.

I cannot breathe
I tell myself it is not because the air is clean
But my lungs long for smoke and destruction
I tell myself I do not need the fire to feel happiness.
Because without the lies the embers of hope would crackle and die.

Tripping

I am not made of the colours of man
I  am the emerald green of the forest
I am the deepest blue that through rivers ever ran
I am the pool of water in the corner of your eye that hints at an unseen  paradise

The warmth slowly drains from my skin
Seeps into the world, I feel it give birth and begin
I feel them gain life and breath, my kin.

Dripping
And dripping
And forever ever
Singing and sinking
Singing and sinking and singing.

Life blood dripped in colours across my skin is all I was
Washed away in a vision and clouded again by loveliness.
Creatures walk these paths, that I do not know
But I know now more than ever that these paths are my home

Home
Home
Him and her and home.

And all was well, amongst this broken citadel
For we had found, here a common ground.

Mutual Chaos

Wait dear,
Wait for the night
You don't need to know
You don't need to remember why you're here.
Just embrace it.
The madness.

I call it Mutual Chaos
Pretentious I know,
But you should know
It's the only word that fits us both.

We never have existed have we?
Within this realm of reality
And possibility
Filled with maybes and 'i'll see'
When we all know your blind
And mankind doesn't care,
As long as you follow the cadence.

It's set out by that big metronome in the sky
Of course many don't believe it's there
But we all hear it ticking
Pushing footsteps, heartbeats
Onwards, upwards towards industry
And the 'better me'
And all the forms of frivolity.
It's this clicking?

You understand now, correct?
That you were made for this
Oh yes, it's quite illicit
But as long as we keep it quiet
The thieves and beggars shouldn't mind it
Mind the lawyers don't catch hold
They're awful cold.
But of course, you'd know.

Now then.
On your way.
I'd say the day is young
But we both know her real age.
Mind, however, you don't ask.
She's haggard behind her flawless mask.
Although if you look close it's always printed in 'The Age'
Page eight.

Thirty

Thirty
Or is it thirty one.
The snow clouds my mind.
Snow and ash, white clouds billowing down
We have traversed and conquered this little town.

History
Or is it the present?
You bought me presents
And we drank coffee, black and white
Like the films that flicked, was that day or night?

I haven't slept
I haven't dreamt
Yet reality slipped away
Many day, many nights ago
Nightmares or reality, I don't know.

We are beings that do not belong here
In the open air
Among the people
Who smile at their mothers
And eat their home-brand cereal
When the sun greets the day.

But today we are older than the sun,
We are older than the dreams we had
We are younger than the earth
But, Oh! In this second
This breath before dawn
We are not reborn (not yet)
But we struggle on.

Thirty
Or is it thirty one?

Letters
Moments mix with minutes
And hours mix with horrors.
And I am content in this rent in time
We have torn apart the day
It is yours
It is mine.

Thirty.
Or was it thirty one?

The world unravels
Like threads in fantasy novel
Like tears in a game
Like rain in the night
Like snow in the day.

Thirty.
Will it be thirty one?

We have betrayed clocks
We have turned our backs on calendar days
And ancient ways, and yesterdays
And all the days yet to be made
Just exist.
Just breath with me.
Just one more.
Or is it thirty?

.

I wanted to write about how I felt
I wanted to etch ink into paper
I wanted to carve it into your arms
Black on white
Blood on skin

I hoped you would understand better
I hoped you would hear the music
I hoped you would know the words
Sound through space
Notes through time

I needed you to know this heaviness
I needed you to know it was for you
I needed you to breath
Smoke in air
Pale in night

I wanted to say more
I hoped there would be more
I needed you to know more.
Death in life
Finish, Begin.

Sea Witch

I don't know how to write this down
A sinking sense of sadness, I think I'm drowning in it.
But I dived in, didn't I? Didn't you tell me I could swim?
It coiling and bubbling around me. Didn't you say you would save me?

There's a sort of heaviness settled in my bones.
It's dragging me down into the inevitable darkness.
They tell me there are wonders unseen here. How foolish.
Of course they are unseen, the blind don't see anything at all.

I wanted to remember how to float.
To remember the fresh air, the sweet sting of sunlight.
The feel of grass beneath my feet, making my skin itch.
The burn of fire and the smell of smoke swirling among stars.

Instead I'm sinking into sand that has lain beneath waves
Ages pass here without a thought, kings and companies collapse.
There is no hope, or love, or dreams. Not even the steady passing of the waves.
Just words, etched in the floor of the world, by a sea-witch who has forgotten who she was.

The Show.

Oh my love, what fools we are.
Can't you hear the softly tinkling laughter?
I can hear the sounds of bells
Or maybe its just the ringing
Left in rubble like the bombshells.

We've danced for kings and queens
Been cruel but never mean.
We've juggled knives slicked with blood
Ours or our enemies, we can't say
Noah didn't reveal the secret to his flood.

We've tumbled and we've fallen
Kingdoms, mice and men.
We've stolen every gem and picked every lock
By all means our heads should rest
Softly nestled by a chopping block.

But we run from Death, leaving trails
So we always know he's on our tail.
If he catches up, it won't be the first time we've fought
Bones against bones, skin against cloth.
Never looking back on the deeds that we've wrought.

So go on and laugh ,go on and smile
Be persuaded when she asks you to stay a while
They prepared a magnificent two act show
Although you must understand
That the second half never gets shown.

The Quest

I traverse this land, a stranger with a sword.
I will use this to defend and destroy
All the world will fall someday
And I shall remain, your Helen of Troy.

The rivers in this land flow with blood
The blood of men or monsters I do not know
I do not recognise the signs of the living
By the towns they build or the crops they sow.

I have not always walked this wilderness alone
I have seduced men and women, both pretty and poor
I have created nations and watched as they fall
I have built great armies and lead them to war

But all of these things have faded away
And now I seek a possession of great renown.
I have cut down frauds and disbelievers alike
For one day I will wear 'happiness' as my crown.